Tender Mercies - Becoming Me

It's called being you.  Yourself.  When being around someone else starts to change who you are, something is wrong.

I realized this when I was thirteen.  Just like many girls that age, I had an identity crisis.  I found myself trying to act just like my friends to fit in or get their attention, and slowly forgetting who I was.  I started to subconsciously ask myself, "Can you remember who you were before the world told you who you should be?"  I knew I had to do something.  I couldn't keep mimicking the people around me, I couldn't keep on pretending that I was everyone else.

I decided I wanted to change.  I began by checking myself every time I said something I didn't think the real me would say.  I fought to control my mimicked gestures, hyperactive impulses, and other little bad habits, like clapping sporadically whenever someone said something even remotely pleasing, and biting my nails.  I mentally pinched myself whenever I said something negative and changed it to something positive, out loud.  I tried my hardest to find hobbies, likes, and dislikes that weren't the same as my friends' -- I felt a need to be unique in some way.  I had to find my personal value.  I had placed too much value on being like everyone else, and I had to turn that around.

Most importantly, I prayed.  Almost every single day I prayed, "Heavenly Father, please help me to just be me today."  I fought my doubts and insecurities about my personality.  Slowly, ever so slowly -- like a snail, that's how slow -- I changed.  It was my dream, my motivation, my purpose: become me.  Solely me, nothing but me, no one except who I knew God would help me to become: His daughter, His unique daughter, myself, me.

It's been four years now.  And last night, I realized that my dream had come true.  I was now me, solely me, nothing but me, no one except who God had helped me to become: His daughter, His unique daughter, myself, me.  My very own me.

A tender mercy of the Lord took place right then.  There was no denying it.  I had prayed diligently for four years -- four years! -- and finally what I had dreamed of had become a reality through the hand of God.  He had sent me the Holy Ghost to help and guide me, and, after years of correcting, little by little, line upon line, carefully, slowly, I achieved my dream.  My moment of realization was God telling me that I had done it, that now I could keep going forward and keep progressing.  It was God telling me that dreams come true.

You can do anything with God's help.  Anything!  So be you.  Maybe your dream is different.  Find your dream.  Work for your dream.  Pray for your dream.  You will reach it eventually.  It took me four years.

"Mother" Doesn't Always Mean "Children"

Mother: the highest, noblest, strongest kind of love.

You do not - I repeat, do NOT - have to have biological children to be a “mother.”  Being a mother is not an accomplishment or a number of offspring.  It goes deeper, beyond that.  It is what a woman offers to the world through heartfelt deeds and caring words spoken that makes her a mother.

The highest kind of love is not prestigious or pompous.  It is the kind of love a woman humbly offers to those she wants to succeed.  The highest kind of love is offered to help others rise up to great heights and become the best they can be.

The noblest kind of love is not an outspoken, loud, or prideful kind of love.  It is courageous, humble, meek, and caring.  The noblest kind of love is a sacrifice from the heart.  It is most prominent when a woman gives of herself for the good of others.  When a woman stays awake at night worrying about that one girl, and then gives her a hug whenever she sees her, asking how she is, or gives her a call or sends a text to let her know that she cares, that is the noblest kind of love.  When a woman wakes up in the middle of the night to a child crying and cuddles them back to sleep even though she is already exhausted, that is the noblest kind of love.  When a woman brings food to a struggling family despite her own worries, or helps an elderly neighbor with their gardening, or gives of her talents to help someone in need, or prays for her friends that have lost a loved one, that is the noblest kind of love.  When a woman exemplifies the noblest kind of love, she is caring and willing to sacrifice her own precious time and well-being for the good of others.

The strongest kind of love is the one most associated with biological mothers.  It is powerful, firm, and sometimes ferocious.  Some refer to it as the “mama grizzly bear.”  This love never wavers.  It is unconditional.  It is the love of a mother - any mother, and not just a mother with her own children, for mothers are so much more than the quantifying of offspring - that means sacrifice, that means never giving up, even when it seems impossible, that means discarding her own safety for the safety and protection of another.

Apart from my biological mother - who I think is the most amazing mother in the world, and I wouldn’t trade her for any other mother in the universe - I have many mothers.  They all exemplify this motherly love in different ways.

My Young Women leaders exemplify the highest and the noblest kinds of love to me.  They do everything they do for the success of their Young Women and, I’m sure, stay awake at night worrying about us.  They plan and carry out great activities, likely driving to all different stores to get supplies, arrive early for every activity, and teach us lessons in church, at mutual, and by their everyday actions that will help us become who Heavenly Father wants us to be.  They love us, care about us, and pray for us, and they do little things for us all the time that show us how much they really, truly care about us.  I am ever grateful for all they do to help us know we are loved and to reach our highest potential.

I have many great mentor women in my life.  They exemplify the highest kind of love to me by being an example and helping me accomplish tasks that will help me grow.  They are such incredible women, always trying to improve themselves and doing amazing things, and I see this and want to be like them.  When they embrace me and let me know they love me by speaking kind words, that is the noblest kind of love.  And they exemplify the strongest kind of love when they show me that they would do just about anything for me - from talking with me about guys I like to having me stay at their house for dinner so I can work on a project.  As I have known these women at different times in my life, they have helped me to become who I am.  They have taught me invaluable lessons that I will be forever thankful for and that I will never forget.

When my mother gave birth to me, that was the highest kind of love because she offered me a chance to succeed by bringing me into the world and committing to raise me.  It was the noblest kind of love because it was courageous, humble, meek, and caring.  Having a first child must have been scary, at least in the beginning; yet she was willing to give up some of her own livelihood for the sake of my life.  Having and raising me was the strongest kind of love because she has always been so much more concerned for my safety than for her own, and because she never gave up.  She makes meals for my family every day.  She listens to everything I have to say, every complaint, every sorrow, every happy thought.  She reminds me of the lessons the Savior taught and helps me understand how to put them into practice.  My mother has given me the priceless gifts of life and character.  I love her so much, and I am eternally grateful that she brought me into the world.

The First Presidency has told us that motherhood is “the highest, holiest service ... assumed by mankind.”  They didn’t say, “Motherhood is when a woman bears children.”  No.  They said it was a high and holy service.  Let us remember it and honor it as such, today and every day.